A Short Overview

Before I ever had my daughter, I had heard stories here and there about our family court system here in Ingham County. I’m not sure that I’ve ever heard of a good one, but some better than most. I honestly did not give it too much thought once the conversation was over- at least not until after I became pregnant and naturally, I started to feel that these stories and situations were going to affect me one way or another.

I used to have faith in our courts. I was naive and figured if the courts saw you in a bad light, you must have done something to give them a reason. It was not fathomable to me to think that a system as just and accomplished as what we have would make things up. There were laws to be followed, and it is taken very seriously. Even after a few horrible experiences myself, I did not think it was the court- I thought I had actually done something wrong.

I had heard from other professionals, including lawyers and numerous social workers, that the court tended to pick a side from the very beginning- a side to ridicule, embarrass, and demean so that they would not come back. More recently, I was told the same thing by another professional, but she explained everything in a little more detail. She said that the courts tend to pick the side based on who initiates and files the motions. Considering what I’ve seen and been through, that makes a lot of sense. And it’s very unfortunate.  I didn’t believe this for a long time either. I thought it was so ridiculous and preposterous, and maybe those people were thinking too negative and ignoring the good that comes from the court. Now that I’ve seen what I have, I feel bad for not giving them credit to speak out about it, because it is not easy, and they were very right.

I know there is a lot of people who will not like this blog. When I wanted to start speaking out about my experiences with the Ingham County Court 5 years ago, I had some who supported me, but more were scared. Scared to speak out against a judge in the wrong. Scared of retaliation. Scared for the safety of me because the father of my child has such a history of violence and threats towards me. But I’m not entirely sure why. Why would the judge be offended? What person doesn’t want our system to improve anyway it can? If you’re a judge who was voted in by your community and you believe you are doing the right thing and you are doing your best job, is there something wrong with me writing about your work? Do you not respect our right to free speech?

I am not here to be disrespectful in any way. I don’t believe in putting people down or being cruel. My only goals are to write about my experiences and include the proof, be involved in the community and conversate about our experiences, discuss ideas on how they can be fixed (lots of laws need to be amended, for sure), and show the voters what is really going on with those they vote for.

Something important to remember though, is not all court systems are bad. Not all judges are bad. I have a great deal of respect and admiration for many that I hear about. In fact, there are still some judges here in Ingham County that has been around since I was a kid and I remember hearing about them then and I still do today. They do their job and do it well. But this is not the experience I’ve had, and in a way, it is setting a very bad tone for those who are doing right by the people in our court system. There are judges out there who would be horrified if they knew what my judge has been doing. And I don’t think my judge realizes what exactly is happening as a result of her behavior. My daughter is growing up to resent her father, a judge, and the judicial system, and potentially having no respect for authority. Now, of course, I am raising her better than that. But isn’t this already a big problem this nation is facing as a whole? We shouldn’t be adding to it.

Something has to change.

{I encourage comments on all of my posts, but please keep it respectful and clean. Please feel free to contact me here.}

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2 thoughts on “A Short Overview

  1. I find your blog very interesting. Over the years the role of the courts has certainly changed and I am not seeing how this is for the better. I am sorry this has happened to you and that this has happened to other mothers as well. It sounds like some serious investigating needs to be done and I hope eventually that does happen. Until then I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers. There is definitely something not right about this whole story! I hope somehow this story has a happy ending and it is not one of those devastating stories we read about on the front page or hear about on the evening news where all the red flags were there and nobody saw them or listened to any concerns.

    Liked by 1 person

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